Nathalie Schiltz

A Well-Meaning Onion

2012-02-20T20:57:00.001-05:00

20th February, 2012, 9.00pm

Hello minions! It should please you to hear that I'm not dead. Hurray! I have however been busy getting myself a nice job that stable and routinely, but that also pays the bills until a publisher looks my way.

In the meantime, I wanted to chat about layers of meaning with you this evening. And I'm not just talking about character depth (equally as important however, no one connects with a protagonist who has as much personality as a toothbrush), but layers of meaning to a story, subtext. "Show, don't tell", we've all learned our lesson well, but what about "suggest/insinuate/hide/dig, don't tell"?

I got thinking about this after a conversation I had with someone close to me about phoenixes. You know, the mythical bird that bursts into flames, only to be reborn from its own ashes (please refer to figure 1 *points to the right*.. ok, I think that one's from Final Fantasy, but since they're a myth, there aren't many snapshots around - you get the gist of it). Soooo, there I was, pondering what the myth meant to me and then what it meant for my book project - The Curse of the Phoenix. There is the element of rebirth, yes, but it goes deeper than that; it's about strength and rebuilding what is destroyed, but it's also about second chances, making a wrong right, recreating something new with old essence. Hell, someone might write a whole thesis on the title alone one day! (One can dream, don't burst my bubble. Tsk!)

Do you build them in intentionally by being crafty? Do they just appear when a story is well-built? Or do layers of meaning only appear to the reader and how they connect to a story? To each his own layer?

I think sometimes, we give our stories layers of meaning without even intending to. Maybe this belongs more to interpretation than intention, but still, they are there. And I know I've said this before, but you can learn so much about yourself by your writing. It really is true that writers bare their souls when the lay words down on a page. Read me and you'll know me for I am an open book! You might discover more layers to yourself than you knew where there in the first place.

Do you tend to take a story at face value when you read, or do you look to analyse it and dig deeper to find what the author has hidden there for curious minds who know how to look?
What about your own stories? What lurks in their depths? What do they reveal about you, perhaps?

Happy New Year, Minions!

2012-01-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

2nd January 2012, 8.00pm

Hello to you! Welcome to this first post of the new year. If we're lucky and the Mayans were wrong, we'll be doing this again next year!

This year marks a bit of a landmark for me. I'm changing decades. Hitting the big 3-0 in style tomorrow! Well, not really "in style" since I'll be getting up at 5am and heading to work. But ya know, I'll be sure to remind everyone how much of a myrtyr I am for celebrating my 30th at my desk, waiting for those wrinkles to put in an appearance.

I'm pretty sure something's going on, but it's hard to say. Perhaps the surprise is that there IS no surprise. My family and friends have been pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing. And considering I can get any information out of my mother (she's a terrible liar and crappy at keeping secrets) anyday, that's really saying something. Who do I have to tickle to find out?

How was your Christmas? Did anything embarrassing that you're afraid might find itself on youtube or Facebook? Mine was good, thanks for asking. I spent it in great company and put on about 5 lbs (less great). So, thank God the festivities are over and I can go back to my normal eating habits.

What about those New Year's resolutions!? What have you decided to give up, start up, do more of, eat less of? I have the same resolution every year: None. However, I always promise myself to be happy.

So, to your health and happiness and all that jazz! Oh, and lots of love - duh!

Dating Frogs and Smoking Hot Butterflies

2011-10-27T20:22:00.001-04:00

27th October 2011, 8.15pm

Hello Minions!

I just wanted to let you know that I was still alive after my surgery! Minus an organ, plus a few scars, but all here otherwise.

What have I been up to, you ask? Well, I've been working hard trying to keep up with work and classes. Did I mention that I'm graduating in December? Only a dozen times at least, I think. Guess who'll be walking off the stage in June (yes, the actual graduation is later... and it sucks) with her brand spanking new degree in hand? That's if I don't flunk out of anything, that is, uhmm...I bet you can't wait for me to get my diploma and shut up about it already! Patience, minions, patience.

Besides that, I have recently re-entered the weird and wonderful world of dating. And when you get to be my age (nearly 30), well meeting people gets difficult. Everyone you know is already married and popping out kids like they're going out of fashion. And their other friends are also busy reproducing and you're left thinking "have I missed something? Where are all the other single people at?" Online, that's where... And boy, am I out of my comfort zone!

If you have ever posted a profile on a website, you'll know how daunting it is to join the masses of hopefuls looking for lurve. Coming up with a good enough introduction that won't make you sound silly, vain or desperate is hard enough as it is (mine was obviously witty, you know me :D), but you still have to catch someone's attention long enough for them to write you a message (the best ones (and please note the sarcasm here) I've come across have consisted of "Sup" with no greeting and no punctuation to speak of. Let's not even start on the lack of content).

I must admit that those dating sites are a bit brutal. Let's face it, we are but a picture amongst thousands, so how can a person NOT discriminate right there and then? If you do manage to attract someone's attention with your pouty photoshoped lips and doe eyes, or a picture of way back when, when you didn't have to suck in your belly for it to lay flat, and that they do send you a message (sometimes more than one if you persist in not wanting to respond to some creepy guy who doesn't say hi, but wants "ta get yo number"), you better pray they don't have the personality of a teaspoon when it comes to meeting them. But, credit where credit is due; once in a while, there's a silverlining. Complete with wit and punctuation, it makes you feel like replying!

AND, and this is the good part right here, sometimes you do get lucky. You may have to kiss a few frogs along the way, but one (a really smoking hot one that's also sweet and wonderful - the kind that makes surprise visits to your house just to see you and that you just can't keep your hands off of - ;)) is bound to catch your eye at some point and give you some butterflies. And, suddenly, dating doesn't seem so bad. Fingers crossed! ;)

Ciao, peeps!

Carpal Tunnel is a bitch!

2011-08-28T12:49:00.002-04:00

28th August 2011, 12.30pm

We meet again, mignons! My fingers have recently been slapped for being absent (I'm a bad bad blogger) but, don't they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder? *Big cheezy smile*... You know you missed me.

Well, the summer has been kindda busy and I must admit that I have gone to bed at 8pm most nights during the last 2 months. (I'm a weakling, what can I say?)

The original plan had been to sprint through a couple of summer classes and take July and August off to write, since there was no sign of work on the horizon. But an unexpected offer came along at the end of June and I found myself working full time as a Translator for a beauty products company after all (which is good for me, cause I enjoy it, good for the CV and definitely welcomed by the bank account, I tell you). As of September, I shall continue working while going to class, so I'll have to find time for homework in all that, and, if I'm lucky, have a bit of a life. If all goes according to plan, I'll stay on after graduation - which, shall I remind you, is in December (*happy dance and such*)!

The thing about working full time, writing (typing) all day long, is that you start to develop the most common ailment amongst writers and office workers: carpel tunnel syndrome. If you aren't yet acquainted with this particular annoyance, you are lucky (and I'm sure it's coming, don't worry). Sooo, I find it difficult to work on my book right now, as you may well imagine. HOWEVER, I have not been completely idle on that front. Book II has been in the hands of trusted beta readers, and so far, the feedback is really good. I'm really happy about that. I have been taking notes regarding Book III and I am itching to settle into the story once more! Unfortunately, I may not get to dig in until January; I really want to take the time to write it and the last thing I want is to have to put it aside for any length of time only to lose the thread of it when I finally manage to get back to my story. So, I shall bide my time, like a good girl.

When I say things are getting hectic, I mean it. I have to have surgery at the end of September and only have a 5-day window to get better - no time for more. Not to worry, the organ that'll be taken out is kind of useless anyway and I am assured I won't miss it!

Okay, I think that pretty much concludes this entry. What have you guys been up to?

P.S. I have added a taster for Book II on the CURSE OF THE PHOENIX page. I could have chosen something different, but I might have given something away - and we can't have that!

Editing Pains

2011-05-24T16:27:00.001-04:00

Tuesday, May 24th 2011, 4.15pm

Oh my God! I've done it! *little happy dance* I've finally finished editing Book II of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX! I've been starting, putting aside and starting over so many times that I didn't think I would ever manage it.

See, I gave myself a deadline. It had to be finished by July, because I plan to start writing Book III (Wild Fire) this summer. I want to spend as much time on it as possible before the end of August and the start of my last semester at university. Yes, my minions, I graduate in December! And with that will have to come a full time job (which I really need) and all the grown up stuff I have so missed during the hiatus I took from life to go back to school.

Anywho, so I am done editing (for now - any writer knows it's never over until it hits the shelves). I was ruthless. You would have been proud of me! The wrath of the red pen? This manuscript felt it, alright. I shaved off 13,000 words from it and it now stands at about 112,500. Chop, chop!

Now, I'm going to get it printed, before handing it over to my beta readers for some feedback. Result!

Scratch That!

2011-05-19T23:08:00.000-04:00

19th May 2011, 10.51pm

I'm currently taking a class on short fiction. The teacher isn't great and the theory she's given does leave me a bit *insert shrug and nondescript noise here* - you know what I mean. However, the reads are great. I had read a little of Canadian author Margaret Atwood's work before (she was ahead of her time in the 70's and 80's, writing about relationships outside of marriage and abortion in a time where a writer just didn't go there) and liked her style of writing, but her short story Happy Endings was a real treat. I love the way she jumps from pillar to post, thinks of "out there" things and still manages to make a really good point. All that with a sense of humour.

In Happy Endings, she suggests that two individuals meet and fall in love. Then she proceeds to give different possible endings to that story, ranging from "happy ever after" to "and then he kills her" and you get to pick your own. She makes a fab point about thin plots, thin characters and clichés. Oh, damn those clichés! And down with those anorexic plots!

So, in class, the exercise revolved around looking at each ending and discussing why it was unsatisfying (in one of them, I was vehemently rooting for Mary to kill John - that bastard! - but she didn't and I was disappointed in her) and how we would make it better. That was the best part. Let my imagination run wild? Beware! Mary was suddenly a space cadet and John got a taste of his own medicine, shot with the gun that was meant to take Mary's life by his wife Madge. And Madge's real name was Tony. Ha! Okay. Maybe not... But it was a great exercise! That's actually how THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX came about. I finished a book, but satisfying as it were, I wondered how a love story written by me would look like. What kinds of twists and turns might I come up with? The real story turned out to be miles away from my original notes, but what motivation! If not satisfaction, at least get motivation from reading crappy stories! Every cloud, right?

Have you ever read a book that just made you think "man, if I had written that plot, it would have been so much different"? Which book was that and what would you have done?

The Wrath of the Red Marker

2011-04-27T23:04:00.000-04:00

27th April 2011, 10.45pm

Oh, the shame! If you could see me now, trying to hide under the desk. I owe you an apology, my minions, for abandoning you for a while. Am I forgiven? In my defence, I've been a busy bee (I know, I always say that). There were exams (the last of which I just wrote this semester), the beginning of the summer semester (next week actually. What you thought there would be a break in between? Pfff, I should be so lucky!), my nephew (who is still the bestest - he went through surgery at 3 weeks old like a trooper), my boyfriend (also the bestest, but for different reasons) and writing.

Yes! You heard right. I have been writing. Well, mostly editing. Again. The same bits. For the hundredth and seventy sixth time. Technically, I finished writing Book II of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX last spring. I had promised some of my beta readers a read by June. Well, I have kept my promise - I never said June of which year! (Horray! for loopholes). The problem is that I have to keep putting my manuscript aside, sometimes for long periods of time, so that when I pick it up again, I feel like just starting over from the top. And I still find things to change (no book would ever be published if there wasn't someone somewhere pulling the plug and declaring that it was enough messing around, editing is a never-ending process). The other problem is that the first 125 pages have been polished to within an inch of their page, but the other 200 keep getting neglected and have yet to experience the wrath of the red marker.

How do you edit? Do you take breaks, do it all in one shot?

Stringy Black Poo and Hysterics

2011-03-21T20:24:00.000-04:00

21st March 2011, 8.15pm

Poo and hissy fits? What is she talking about? I can almost see the question marks in your collective peepers as you read this. There's only one thing I could be talking about: a baby.

Hold your horses! I'm not pregnant (although I like to think I would make a great mom). You may or may not remember a post from last August when I announced that my sister was expecting? Well, holy diapers, Batman, it's already been 9 whole months! Time flies. I watched her get bigger and bigger and lose sight of her ankles (she'll kill me for this) since then. But it seems like it was just yesterday when we were talking about stretch marks, the possibility of embarrassing mishaps on the table and her hips getting wider. Oh wait, it was actually yesterday. When everyone else was busy telling her that she wouldn't remember the pain when she held this miracle of life in her arms, I was the little ray of sunshine, reminder her that she would soon have to check her modesty at the birth room door. Uhmm...

So, yes! My nephew has finally come out of hiding this past week. At 2.42am, on the 16th March. He's sweet when he's sleeping, right? But you should hear the pipes on him. He's got more lung capacity than Celine Dion and more vocal chords than an opera singer. At 5 days old, that's something. I reckon he's already practicing to be a rock star.

Do not fear, I have already told him I was going to buy him lots of books and that I was recruiting him to my readership. He was fast asleep in my arms, but we understand each other, Antoine and me. And while I stared at him, his little tiny fingers tight around my pinky, I sang him a bit of a lullaby. I think we understood something else, Antoine and me. That on top of all the promises I already made, I think he knows that it's ME he's already got wrapped around HIS little finger.

Writing Up Romance: The Sticky Question

2011-03-11T14:30:00.002-05:00

11th March 2011, 1.25pm

I've just finished reading Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks (I know, I'm a bit late there). It got me thinking about romance. I liked the fact that the story was told from a man's point of view - and written by a man altogether. It was nice to delve into the male psyche when it comes to love. People tend to think women are more vocal about love than men are. Personally, I have no idea what goes on in a man's mind at the best of times - and they say we women are the complicated ones - but I'm getting off track, here...

Writing a good love story takes skill. It needs the right amount of mush and cheese, but toe the line carefully.

What is too much cheese? To answer that question, I think that it's important to establish what "cheese" is to begin with. We all have a different tolerance level to romance. If you edit your manuscript and weep at how beautiful the imagery is and just wish you too had a tall, dark and handsome specimen like the one you dreamt up on paper - that's one thing. But if you cringe when editing, thinking that you might have pushed the mush to a whole new level, one that would make even Harlequin hardcore readers switch off because it no longer feels realistic - it's time to delete and start over. But if everyone perceives romance differently, then, what IS too much cheese? Well, I think there are three ways to approach romance: what the feel of the audience is, what the story calls for and your aim as a writer.

Unless you are writing romance novels for Harlequin, where pirates are supposed to kidnap damsels in distress who are later destined to fall in love with them or where quivering members are meant to put in appearances at least once a chapter (okay, I'm poking fun a little here, but take me with a grain of salt, I probably never have read a Harlequin novel), it's hard to know when to stop. Romance expert readers will probably expect and WANT more Fabio-put-his-hands-through-Ophelia's-hair-and-violins-struck-up-a-waltz-in-time-with-their-heartbeats kindda romance. They want that fantasy. Realistic or not.

But what if the story calls for love, without needing to be consumed by it? There, I would refrain from descriptions that last over a page about how mysterious Fabio's eyes were and how devine Ophelia smelled. Then again, too little feeling will make the characters depth-less, just as too much will only make the readers roll their eyes and disconnect. Figure out what dose of romance your story needs. Write it as you see fit. Walk away and edit later, in another frame of mind: does it still pass muster? What do your beta readers think?

Finally, it's about what you, as the writer, want too. After all, it is your story. Just make sure to justify the cheese, I would say. It's impossible to be objective when looking at our own work, just as we can't be objective in matters of the heart (on and off the page).

Do you think we write better heart-wrenching stories when we are lonely and single (so that we can pour into our characters all of our hopes and dreams) or when we are happily paired up (so that we can write from experience)? And another thing - does age matter when writing from experience? Could I write as good a love story when I was 20 years old as I can now? No way, but that's just me. As always, I have more questions than answers, but I like to get others thinking. It's not always about posting a solution, but more about the thought process sometimes.

What I think? Go with your guts and get a feel for your intended audience. The best advice I've ever been given? Be subtle. I think it's especially important when writing about romance. If it can be felt through the story, it'll be just as powerful - if not more so - than if you take the reader by the hand. Show, don't tell, as they say. I, for one, am still working on that!

Heehawwww, Cowboy!

2011-03-05T23:39:00.002-05:00

5th March 2011, 10.43pm

Well, the only things I have been able to write lately are translations and reviews. I am taking a fab class this semester (you have to keep it interesting and motivating if you don't want to find yourself sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, singing an Electric Prunes song - or maybe that's just me) about Rock n' Roll. I just love it. Although we do touch upon the Electric Prunes, it's mainly about the hay-day of Rock n' Roll between 1953-57. I've been listening to some much of it that I'm getting this urge to buy a cadillac and a poodle skirt.

As part of our journey through time and tunes, we were sent to a place called the Wheel Club to sample live performances of Hillbilly, Bluegrass and Honky Tonk. I was told Hillbilly Night is known around the world (to those in the Country music know), so if you're ever in Montreal, into steel guitars and have a crush on Kitty Wells or Bill Munroe, stop by. Here is my concert report (a bit of a plug for the Wheel Club!):

Heehaw, Cowboy!

It’s Monday, the 28th February 2011, and I’m heading for Hillbilly Night at the Wheel Club. It’s windy out and my friend and I can’t wait to find our way there. It’s about 8.30pm when we finally spot the place. The club is not easy to find as it is tucked away on the side of a building, only identified by a sign dimly lit by Christmas lights. Wooden steps lead into a small indoors area. From there, another door opens onto the club. It feels a little like discovering a hidden gem. The place is very simply decorated with wooden panels on the walls, checkered linoleum flooring, a bar and a pool table. Tables and chairs of different sizes and shapes, topped by mismatched tablecloths and daisies in vases, are arranged about the room and the stage area. The club has a wonderful homey feel to it. We can’t feel uncomfortable as we walk in, with the barman throwing a smile and a wave our way. Jeanie Arsenault then warmly welcomes us – she knows we’re students, she sees a lot of those. “Make yourselves at home. Grab a seat and a drink.” Before we have a chance to sit, she already has us laughing. Like an experienced tour guide, she tells us a little about Hillbilly Night, anticipating our questions.

Hillbilly Night is celebrating its 45th birthday this year. It was started by a man named Bob Fuller, who, Jeanie tells us, has had a bad fall and has been in the hospital for 8 months now. So, a few volunteers, herself included, have taken over as event organisers. The event is not financed per say. The owner, a lady in her 80’s as I can gather, with nothing planned on Mondays, had offered the club to the mysterious Bob if he could bring the people in. The only money that changes hands is that of the draw (25 cents a ticket, a steal!) that takes place at midnight with CDs as prizes. The profits are used to buy more music to give away. Besides this, Bob is the only one who receives a percentage of the bar profits, “even from his hospital bed – that’s unfair!” adds Jeanie jokingly.

We choose a table with a good view of the stage as the club starts to fill up slowly (the weather is bad out there, but people are still showing up). We learn that the owner herself has a preferred seat at our table and we leave it free in case she comes. Everyone seems to know each other. People chat, greet each other. Some of the musicians are cramming in last minute rehearsal. The place is already buzzing with the promise of good tunes and good old-fashioned fun. Most of the audience is made up of men and women of different age brackets ranging between 40-something and 80-something (the lady at our table informs us chattily that she’s 89 years old and comes here every week with her friend Rosie (whom she has met at church), who is performing tonight. I ask our table companion why she comes and if she enjoys the music. “Very much, she says with a smile, I come here to see people, talk with friends, to have a bit of a night out.” I suspect this is the case for many of the attendants. Most are regulars like her; they come every week for their fix of good ol’ Country music, as well as to see each other (friends and fellow music lovers), have a chat and a catch up, dance, sing along and enjoy the show.

By the time performances are underway, each introduced by Jeanie for the benefit of those in the audience “having to take notes,” it’s already a full house and more trickle in as the evening draws on.

“Anyone wanna play?” Jeanie throws the invitation to the crowd. There seems to be an open call to everyone wanting to take to the stage and an order is established. A “main event” will follow. But Mr Main Event is running late. It doesn’t matter, everyone is having fun.

Many of the performers are also club regulars. Bob Hill is on steel-guitar. Rocking a denim shirt as well as the upright bass, the guitar and, later on, the mandolin, Steve also sings a little. Jeanie is also part of the line up, which changes with every song. She plays guitar and sings. A man called Jimmy is playing the fiddle. Other performers (who sing and play the guitar) jump on stage: Glenn Fournier, Bernie Ritter, Leo Fontaine, Peter, Roxie, and Rosie as well, to name but a few. Craig Morisson also graces the stage, belting out a couple of tunes and accompanying others on the bass.

The club is heating up with the sounds of Honky Tonk, Bluegrass and Hillbilly music (the latter announced proudly on a wall banner on the side of the stage). The instrumentation used is characteristic of the styles played tonight. Honky Tonk’s guitar (albeit not electric), bass, steel-guitar and fiddle –are all present in the line up. There may not be much movement on the stage to make Hank Williams proud, but there’s plenty of sincerity in the playing to make up for it. The Father of Bluegrass himself, Bill Munroe, would also have been proud. The musicians aren’t crowded around the same microphone, skilfully “dancing” around each other for their spot in front, but, then again, the stage is cramped.

The repertoire is true to the styles, with songs like New San Antonio Rose by Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys; Wooden Heart by Elvis Presley (based on a German Folk song, it was released in 1960 and used in the film G.I. Blues. It was also covered by Jo Dowell); Have I Stayed Away Too Long (penned by Frank Loesser and performed by Willie Nelson, Glenn Campbell, Jim Reeves and Perry Como, amongst others); Can’t You Hear Me Callin’ by Bill Munroe (1949); Rocky Top by the Osbourne Brothers (from 1967 and covered by Lynn Anderson in 1970. Both are in the Bluegrass style); When I stop Dreaming, by the Louvin Brothers (a hit in the 50’s which was covered many times); Put Your Sweet Lips Closer To The Phone by Jim Reeves, to name but a few.

The people were warm and friendly and, given a drink or two, I might have gotten up and showed them all what a lousy line dancer I am. I love music. Live music? Even better. You can really feel the vibe. The ambience was fantastic and given at least four more drinks on top of the first two, I might have broken out into song too (for a rendition of Crazy, a Patsy Cline classic I love to sing in the shower). I enjoyed myself very much and I would love to go back.

Unfortunately, I left around 10.30pm, before the fun got a chance to really get going – I could feel it – but a two-hour trek home was on the cards and Cinderella’s bus would have turned into a pumpkin if she had stayed any longer. Shame!

The Wheel Club, 3373 Cavendish (below Sherbrooke), in NDG, Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Free admission. Starts at 9PM.

For videos, pics and the like, hit Craig Morrison's website (who happens to be teaching the class I'm taking).

What's In A Title?

2011-02-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

10th February 2011, 2.00pm

I should be studying for the grueling week ahead, filled with overheated brain cells because of midterms, but alas, I am here instead. All because I got distracted from hard work (I'm easily led astray) by the Internet. And by a blog title from Shannon O'Donnell entitled Exploding Cats. Well, I just had to check it out, now didn't I? It was intriguing. A little weird. And I didn't know what to expect. So, of course, I clicked and read.

That, to me, is the importance of a title - for a blog entry, for a chapter, for an entire book. The title is what draws me in. I don't know if you're anything like me, but when I walk into a book store, I go through every section, savoring the smell of dusty paper and inhaling the promise of evasion into a good story. But there are so many, row after row. How do we pick a really good one?

I let me eyes inspire me first. Does a book's colour attract me? The design? Sometimes. Then, it's the title. Make me think "Ooh, what's that about?" What could possibly make a cat explode? Will it be gruesome? Will I want to cry? Will I laugh, because (phew!) there is no actual cats about to be blown to bits and it was just a cunning ruse to catch my attention? Well, once a book has my attention, it has to work harder to keep it while I read the back of it.

I'm a sucker for a genius title. What does YOUR book radar go on? What are some of the best titles you've ever come up with?

The Translator and The Author: A Tale of Two... Writers?

2011-02-03T22:29:00.000-05:00

3rd February 2011, 10.20pm

What do you think a translator's job entails? Mirroring an author's words in another language? Partly. Reworking a story to make the original author's message resonate within another culture? Yes, that too. Although some translators will argue in favour of keeping as close to the original text as possible as to not ruin its flavor, translation is inevitably a transformation of sorts. And believe me, it takes just as much skill to "rewrite" a story in a language alien to the original author and their intended audience and make it work, as it took to write the piece in the first place. Both translator and author have something in common - they both have to be writers. And creators. Okay, so that makes two things.

Do you think Dickens was thinking about reaching a French-Canadian audience when he came up with Bleak House? Do you think he pondered whether his satire, clever play on words and general Englishness would be understood by people living at the other end of the world? I very much doubt that somehow.

It's not an easy task. Dickens, as wonderfully witty a writer as he was (and I love him for it), is a total annoyance to translate. Admittedly, being a fiction writer does help a tad in this particular predicament, but it isn't everything. I may have a way with words, but what about Dickens's? I'm not Dickens. What he would have liked his story to be like in French? Well, I have no idea.

There are two schools of thought on approaching a literary piece in translation. There are those who think a translated text should "smell" of translation. That it should stay as close to its source as possible and be obvious in its nature, as not to change the texture of the text, even if it means that the new audience might not understand references, play on words or local colloquialisms.

On the other hand, there are those who feel a text should be adapted to its new readers. Names might be changed to more commonly known ones, expressions and jokes reworked so they are understood in a different culture. Basically, the translator is given a lot more freedom with the original text.

The question is now this: where do I stand as an author? Do I feel rewrite someone's novel to make it accessible to everyone or do I prefer to keep its flavour, because, if someone was translating my work, would I want them to rewrite me and somewhat lose the ME part in my story?

What do you think?

Identifying With Your Characters

2011-01-18T18:47:00.000-05:00

18th January 2011, 6.30pm

Have you ever given any thought to how your characters came about? Maybe you've written them a list of personality traits beforehand that helped shape them and the story, or maybe you just let the personality chips fall where they may and ran with it. Whichever way you tango with your writing, some of you is bound to rub off onto them (is the opposite true as well?).

I think you can learn about yourself a bit more than you thought possible by analysing your characters. I was pondering this today on my two-hour public transport ride home from university. I think the thought came between desperatly trying to block out the guy who was hacking up phlem on my left and the twenty year old girl on the right, sharing (without bursting out laughing, which is a feat) with her friend: "I think I'm totally going to grow up to be a midget, you know." There. Right there when I felt like clicking my boots together and wishing for home, I chose to drift off towards my happy place. From my happy place, safely out of hearing range of the weird and wonderful world of buses, I realised I was Clara.

I thought I had given her a few of my personal traits without really meaning to already - like my uncomparable wit (eek!) and some nervous ticks, like making jokes when I'm nervous. And something else. Although we are equally crap at dealing with heart ache, both of us are strong and can withstand pretty much anything. We take the hit. We deal. We carry on.

I also realised I gave Miles my Mr Right's traits (no wonder, really): tall, dark, handsome, 5 o'clock shadow, a square jaw. A real big teddy bear of a man with a big heart, but strong and a bit edgy. I want some MAN with my man, thank you very much. Grrr, salivating. Sorry... Um...

We are so much closer to our characters than we think. How much do yours resemble you? Which is your favorite?

A Great Start To 2011

2011-01-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

1st January 2011, 10.21pm

...And I have no one but myself to blame! This past summer, I applied for an editorial internship with a children's/YA publisher in Montreal. It was for 3 months - and unpaid, but when you want experience (as well as first-hand help with editing and contacts for my own book), you take what you can get, right? I was ready to write off my entire winter semester for the opportunity.

September, October and the beginning of November came and went and I was gutted not to hear anything from them. I had given them a more professional email address than the one I check all the time, but still duly checked my inbox on a daily basis. After all, they would call me if they wanted to see me, right? Wrong!

Today, I decided to empty the inbox of that email address. As it turns out, the publisher DID get in touch, offering me an interview for the first week of December... I never saw the email and it is now the 1st January and... I have completely missed a kick-ass opportunity. Why did they just email? Why didn't they CALL?? I could cry!

Better luck next time, as they say...

HO HO... HO Dear!

2010-12-28T12:49:00.001-05:00

28th December 2010, 12.30pm

I have been a very busy girl indeed, which partly explains why I haven't been around to bother you, dear followers, in a little while. The other reason for my prolonged absence is that I couldn't log into my Blogger account! It had decided that it no longer liked my hotmail sign-in, but also refused to add a gmail address to my account. Go figure! Soooo, I'm here (for now).

I hope you have had a great Christmas! Mine was relatively quiet but lots of fun. My boyfriend was M.I.A. (when work calls, you gotta go, right?), but we still had a good time. My sister would hate me saying that (I know she reads my ramblings from time to time), but she is getting HUGE! My nephew's definitely running out of space in that belly. She could have played Santa for the kids herself.

On a different subject...To help finance my studies, I took a job at a boutique selling gourmet foods and fun knick-knacks over the holidays. Worked my butt off. It had been a seriously long time since I had worked in the weird and wonderful land of retail. Let me tell you, this is when you realise just how few manners some people have.

Barely at the cash register, they are already throwing their credit cards at you. No hello, just "how much is that?" Let me consult my spidey-sense and I'll tell you right away, sir... Give me a chance to scan your purchases first, perhaps? That's for the ones who actually talk to you at all. Others just don't say a word, no matter how polite you might be. For those, I pick a language at random, for lack of knowing which they understand, and smile extra hard in the hope that my customer service skills might hide the less-than-civilised dialogue going on in my head. At Christmas time, people are even nastier and more impatient. The ones who roll their eyes and sigh the loudest are also the ones who take their time at the cash, getting items they forgot, looking for their keys and taking 3 hours to decide whether or not they want this olive jar or that chocolate Santa gift-wrapped.

But let's not generalize. There are perfectly sociable people out there who chat and even ask how you are doing. They almost make it worth the minimum wage you get at the end of the day when, standing at the bus stop, feet burning, back aching, you just wanna go home...

(It might have been a while, but you didn't think I'd stop moaning about everything and nothing, did you? Tsk!)

On with the new year! I don't usually do the whole resolutions thing, but this year, I will. I resolve to finish editing Book II of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX and get some beta readers involved (it's only been peeked at by one person). What about you guys? Any worthwhile resolutions?

F.L.O.A.T Above Bullying

2010-10-13T12:31:00.000-04:00

13th October 2010, 12.30pm

Today, I want to discuss a serious issue that's really close to my heart. Bullying. For some reason, it seems to be getting worse in schools all around the world. As if this wasn't bad enough, the teasing has taken to cyberspace. Teenagers - children - are taking their own lives because of bullying. I keep seeing it in the news, reading about it online and it breaks my heart.

I was bullied as a child and it carried on as I grew up, well into high school. I thankfully had a big mouth. I could stand up for myself most days. But sometimes, they got to me. I'd be lying if I didn't say that it affected me greatly. I had little self-esteem and thought I was the ugliest thing on this planet. "Sticks and stones..." they say. Well, that's certainly far from reality. The truth is that bullying stays with you. And if you come through it relatively unscathed, some scars never completely heal.

I am far stronger than I used to be. But at times, I have small relapses, bouts of self-doubt that may be brief, but that are still there. It may be difficult to understand for those around us who love us, but bad habits die hard.

Why am I telling you all this? Because one of my friends and fellow writer PK Hrezo is doing her part and her efforts should not go unnoticed. Her manuscript, which I was honored to beta read for her, touches on the issue of bullying. She started a Facebook group called F.L.O.A.T (like the name of the book - For The Love Of All Teens). Please check it out and become a member if you aren't already. It is for a good cause. It's only just been created and already has over 130 members.

I don't usually preach, but I thought this one was worthwhile. I shall resume my clowning around, general rambling and incessant ranting after these messages! ;)

Something Wicked This Way Comes

2010-10-12T19:09:00.000-04:00

12th October 2010, 6.46pm

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble
Something wicked this way comes!

I'm not sure whether I should credit the above to Harry Potter for spreading this around or Shakespeare's Macbeth for the actual words.

I must admit, I lurve halloween! It's a fantastic excuse to stuff yourself silly with sweets, watch horror movies until even going to bathroom alone in the dark sounds unthinkable and dressing up. It's the only time of the year when it's not weird to see grown men in Marilyn Monroe wigs, wearing their girlfriends/wives' heels and when fake blood, fangs, and looking pale is just the ticket (apart from Twilight conventions, obviously, where you would stand out awkwardly without your vampy get-up).

When I was living in England, unfortunately, Halloween didn't seem to be a big deal and I was really disapointed. Guy Fawkes Day just doesn't have the same magic. It's creepy enough when children wheel around a home-made dummy with a pumpkin head, dad's old clothes and rubber gloves for hands that they've affectionately dubbed Guy, and stroll the streets while begging for "pennies for the Guy" BUT it is not Halloween!

It's the only time of year when you hear Madness's Ghost Town on the radio, when they dig out Screamin' Jay Hawkins's I Put A Spell On You (which has a special cameo appearance in THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX) and, of course, let's not forget THE Halloween classic: Michael Jackson's Thriller. Have I forgotten any?

Even better than all of the above put together for me: ghost stories. Oh yeah! Scare the undead bejeezus out of me, please! Tell me a good one! Has anything supernatural ever happened to you? Or do you just have a kick-ass story you just want to share? I love this stuff. I always had a thing for ghosts and past lives (hence my manuscript, I guess hehe).

Speaking of dead people... I cannot wait for the 26th October to come along. My friend Caroline and I are going to see a medium. She has a fab rep and, apparently, a direct line to great beyond - she talks to the dead. How cool is that? I have asked my departed relatives and friends to meet me at her place for a bit of a catch up. I'll keep you posted on that. Should be interesting!

Procrastination and Competition

2010-10-09T21:25:00.000-04:00

9th October 2010, 9.26pm

I think we've already established that I'm not exactly productive writing-wise during a semester at university. I thought that after acing an exam with 103% (there were, um, bonus questions and I got them right), handing in the plan of a term paper on the linguistic inferiority complex of Quebecers (of which I might share the premise at some point if the prospect doesn't put you all to sleep) 3 days early and completing phase one of a terminology project (the one about undies), I decided that I deserved a bit of a break.

So, looking for entertainment, I asked my friends where I could find some good online games to play. They suggested Bejeweled. And now, I'm utterly addicted! I started playing yesterday and I can't seem to be able to stop. I want to beat my best score (42,000) AND eventually my boyfriend's (175,000). I'm a woman on a mission. Well, until tomorrow, that is, when literature readings and studying shall resume, I promise!

The weekend hasn't been a complete loss however. I took the plunge. I submitted HELLHOUND to a competition. Yikes! I've never done this before and it's a little daunting. There are so many great writers out there (you guys, for example), I'm not expecting to win, but you never know. Gotta start somewhere, right?

Character Flaws

2010-09-29T23:21:00.000-04:00

29th September 2010, 11.17pm

I enjoy stories of the supernatural very much indeed. I love ghosts and anything that can scare me out of my wits. I also like a vampire story every once in a while. Unfortunately, I'm saturated. Is it me or are blood suckers everywhere? Every other hot character on TV has deep eyes and extra-long canines. And they're all made from the same mold: compellingly handsome, fighting their dark side to try and be good, feeding off bunnies and poodles when no one's looking and short a soul. And that brings me to today's subjet.

A great character has soul (if not a soul). I was just reading a blog by Elana Johnson on characters having to be human. I struggle to care for a story if its MCs are flat. I want to love them. I want to hate them. But I want to feel something for them. I want to finish the book and wish there was more, think about the story even after I've read every last word of it. THAT is achieved through kick ass characters!

When I write, it's important that my MCs come to life for me. Some authors plan them ahead and that's a great way of getting to know them well enough to put them on paper, predict their reactions and write them to be exactly what you want them to be.

I plan the story, but never my characters. I get to know them as I go along. Sometimes, I even get surprises. Even I didn't know Miles or Clara would react the way they do in certain situation until I write it. I let it happen. Then, I can put myself in their hypothetical shoes. When I start to care for my characters, I know I've got them down.

Clara is a little like me. She was the first of the characters to come to life and I stuck to the good ol' "write what you know" tip. She's a little sarcastic. She cracks jokes when she's uncomfortable. She has a big heart and loves those around her deeply. She'll do anything for love. She's also as curious as a cat and we all know what happened there...

Miles is a little special. He is Clara's long lost love and he brings the supernatural to the story. I gave him violet eyes and a handsome face but he's no Edward Cullen (he's no vampie either). He sports a little stubble on his square jaw and is a little rough around the edges (I like a man with a bit of grrr). He came about when I started imagining what my ideal guy would be like. He is strong-minded and a little dark at times. He's suffered a lot and learned to live with the scars life left him. He's also very funny and loving. He's far from perfect (and I can't wait to get into his head in Book III and really bring his personality out), but he's perfectly human. He definitely has an achille's heel.

I didn't think I'd enjoy writing him as much as I have. Douglas is one of a kind. I absolutely love him, hate him and pity him all at once (although I seem to be the only one who manages pity for him). Douglas is cocky as hell. I often roll my eyes when I write, but he's so much fun. He's a very complexe character. He's not had it easy although he grew up with plenty of opportunities in life. He's the kind of guy who always gets what he wants. But he's hiding something darker, a little off the edge, a pain, a hunger, a rage no one understands, least of all himself...

Well, there you have it. The cast (minus a few more) of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX. I could go on forever, but I can't give the story away!

A Bit Of A Moan...

2010-09-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

29th September 2010, 12.45pm

I've been trying to catch up on all of your blogs, but it's a struggle. I'm sorry! I'm in a bit of a bad mood right now too. I haven't managed to have any time for my writing, or blogging. But mostly, I miss writing. I miss my characters. Everyone's been blogging about characters and I want to blog about mine. How they came about, what they are like, what makes them tick, what makes them who they are... But there aren't enough hours in a day!

I'd like to get started on the 3rd installment of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX - Wild Fire, but I feel like I shouldn't even think about it until Kindling is edited for the third time, the query letter is done and I've attempted to send it out to a few agents (I feel like I'm stuck there. I'm scared that my query isn't good enough and that I'll ruin my chances at selling my story - so I sit on it instead). AND I haven't even started on Kindling's synopsis, because if I can't get the letter right, the synopsis has no chance of survival. What's the point of sending out a query letter if I haven't got a synopsis ready if I'm asked for one? "Sorry, not quite there yet" won't cut it. ARRGHHH!!!

Someone find me a rock, so I can crawl under it with pen and paper and forget all about the evil classes that are keeping me away from the things I really want to do.

Rant over.

Petticoats and Pettiness

2010-09-25T22:35:00.000-04:00

September 25th 2010, 10.30pm

I've been spending my entire Saturday (from 8.30am this morning until 6pm) doing research. If you're going to spend between 50 and 100 hours on average on a project, it might as well be interesting, right? So, my team and I decided to research feminine undercrackers between the 16th and 19th centuries. We fished out all the terminology (terms, definitions, context, references, synonyms, etc) in English and in French. Although, between the three of us, I'd say we've been hard at work on this for about 65 hours already, we are not yet done. I can however say that I'm an expert on the subject. The subtilities of the different types of crinolines no longer hold any secrets for me.

Did you know that women wore more than 7 lbs of underwear alone each day? Thirteen layers of undies under their dresses. There must have been a ripe smell about the French and English aristocracy in the summer, I tell you!

What to do with my new-found knowledge? Trivia quizzes? Perhaps a period novel about a staymaker in the 17th century and his insight into the opulent decadence of the French court? It's an option. For now, I shall only work on the first draft of the introduction to our research before it is presented to the teacher and the class in a couple of weeks. If you know my writing style at all (and you must by now), you'll know that I struggle to stay serious. I'm perfectly capable of seriousness, but given half the chance, I'll lighten it up a little. Let's hope the teacher has a sense of humour!

12 Things That Make Me... Well, Me!

2010-09-17T13:08:00.003-04:00

17th September 2010, 1.09pm

If you're following my ramblings, you might as well know me a little better, right?

1. I'm very much accident-prone. Book shelves and wall corners frequently bump into me. I have next to no balance and bounce around on the metro (underground) as if it was a cocktail shaker. My ass always seems to find the ground to steady itself (usually in classrooms, in front of my peers). I visited the hospital so many times as a child that I must have an entire archive dedicated to my files. When I say "accident", I don't just mean minor bruising to myself, I also knock over and drop things on a regular basis, whether it be a full glass of coke on the floor at McDonald's or straight down my top. I can't help it!

2. When I'm very tired, I giggle uncontrollably at the silliest of things until my cheeks and stomach hurt (did you know laughter is a fantastic workout?). Anything can trigger these bouts of giggles and they can last anything between a few minutes to a few days. The same goes when I'm tipsy. I'm not much of a drinker at all. So, a little alcohol goes a long way with me. Give me a Cosmo and halfway through it I'm already swaying on my heels. A few more and I could be dancing on tables (that's never happened) or puke more than Linda Blair in The Exorcist (that HAS happened on the one occasion I ever got drunk. Not pretty). Aparently, I'm fun after a drink or two (does that imply I'm not usually? Hmm).

3. What I find romantic: I'm not really a flowers kind of girl. I enjoy getting them, but I'd much rather receive a few words from the heart written in a card, some gift/thought that really shows effort and love. Something that will stay and that I can cherish. Romance to me is all in the small stuff: reaching out for the other for a cuddle "just cause", holding hands, a furtive touch that says "I just want to be close to you right now", standing close and kissing like there's no one else around though the place is crowded, a look that's unashamedly full of love, showing up at the door in the middle of the night just wanting to sleep next to the other for a few hours - now, THAT's romance to me. It just says "I love you" better than any uttered words would (although I still like to hear them).

4. My biggest pet peeves include loud obnoxious people and those who talk more than they listen. Third parties joining an arguement that has nothing to do with them makes my blood boil too. But on a day to day basis, lateness is what gets me. Be on time!! If you're going to be late, call! I don't like to wait, I'm a very impatient girl when I want to be and I'll stand there, tapping my foot, looking annoyed, until you show up. But not to worry, I would never go so far as to do the bacon in public - those days are long gone.

5. I'm afraid of spiders; yes I know! Typical woman, blah blah blah... What can I say, they make my skin crawl. If there is one in the vicinity, my eyes instantly narrow on it (I have a inner-radar for the vile things) and I freeze. I'll yell for someone to come and kill it for me. I've even gone so far as to pick up the phone and CALL for help in the past when forced to confront a particularly hairy specimen. Clowns and ventriloquists' dolls are creepy as well. They scare the living hell out of me! They're just wrong!

6. Nicknames I have acquired over the years: Mother Theresa (curtesy of my mother and she's very much exagerating), Nath, Nat, Natsy, Thalie (mainly by close family), babe, baby toes, silly toes, poo-poo head (believe it or not, this is my boyfriend's nickname of choice for me. I've learned to see the love behind the name. Sorta) - I'm sure there are more.

7. My guilty pleasures include many things: McCain cake (I really don't know why, but I love the stuff. I could eat an entire cake and happily make myself sick. That's why I don't keep any in the house), poutine (fries, sauce and cheese fast-food dish that only we Quebecers can make properly. It tastes like heaven and clogged arteries. Yum!), cherries and watermelon. Mmm! But let's not forget clothes, shoes, underwear, make-up, handbags... and books! Don't let me loose in a bookstore.

8. My favorite clothes are undeniably my jeans. I love heels, but I struggle to spend a whole day in them for obvious reasons (see #1). If I'm going to be at university all day, I've got to be comfy, even if it means wearing my skater sneakers. But I scrub up pretty well if I do say so myself!

9. My favorite time of day is night time. I love how it's so quiet. It's my favorite writing time. I'm a bit of a night owl and a horrid morning person. No one likes me at 7.00am. I'd like to say that a cup of coffee is all I need to pick me up, but I don't drink any. So, steer clear until mid-day.

10. Things that make me cry are a plenty. I'm a real cry-baby when it comes to films. Who hasn't shed a tear watching The Notebook? Hell, I even cried when I wrote the last scene of the second installment of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX - Burning Flame (I felt for my character, okay?). Most of all, I can't stand to see someone I love hurt; it breaks my heart.

11. My party pieces and other talents: I love to sing. I used to be decent too! I'm very rusty now, but the shower curtains never moan when I'm off key, bless 'em. I played saxophone in my high school's band and some violin before that. Don't ask me to play now, I wouldn't remember how. Unfortunately, I can't touch my tongue to my nose, which is disapointing, but I can recite entire albums of funny songs by François Pérusse (French-Canadian comic we grew up on) with my sister and girlfriends...?

12. I say a lot of things, not all of them of much interest, but when I feel philosophical, I go for "everything happens for a reason" (I'm a firm believer in that), "Come what may" - some things are just out of our hands - and "don't ever settle for less than what you want and what you deserve". So far, these three sayings have gotten me through the last 28 years alright.

That about rounds me off. I've left out the colour of my knickers and other such details I'm sure you can do without. Now, I'd like to know about you! Who are you, what makes you tick, how did you stumbled upon my blog? I want to know everything, so start typing!

I Feel The Lurve!

2010-09-15T11:03:00.002-04:00

15th September 2010, 11.00am

Well, I was having one of these mornings when you're just better off staying in bed and sleeping the hours away when two things happened: my sister emailed me to say she had managed to get me a flat iron from the magazine (she writes for a fashion magazine and always gets lots of free things like clothes, shoes, makeup and the like - she has the best job in the world, I'm totally jealous). Yay! Mine pulls and breaks my hair as well as generally doing a poor job all around. Insignificant but still...When you're having a bad morning, anything that cheers you up is good.

BUT this one was a surprise: My friend and fellow writer PK Hrezo blogged about little old me and said really nice things about my writing (that all better be true!) and THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX. She turned my morning around. It's nice to be appreciated and to know that I have fantastic friends and support system.

As a result, I got a few more reads on my blog and gained followers (welcome Sheri and Shannon!). This is what it's all about. Thanks to all of you who come to read my ramblings and leave a comment (don't think I don't read yours!) I love that we support each other as authors. We work hard for what we want, knowing there's a chance we may not get it in the end, but we'll be damned if we stop trying! Writers unite!

Save The Writer Fund

2010-09-10T17:59:00.001-04:00

10th September 2010, 5.45pm

Well, the semester has officially started and the first week is done. I'm completely exhausted! I have an interesting schedule that keeps me on my toes; early morning wake ups (5.00am) and late finishes (10.45pm), which means that, on Thursdays, I'm up and out of the house about twenty hours. I can take it. I can handle the lack of sleep - I'll just be more irritable than usual and an absolute pain to everyone around me, that's all.

Exams, oral presentations, term papers-galore... Literature, History of French, Terminology and Research, Editing... There will be no slacking off!

Although enlightening, education is also damn expensive. I'm avoiding looking at the contents of my bank account altogether because I know I'd just burst into tears if I took a peak. So, if you guys have translation / writing contracts, throw them my way! Alternatively, you can make a donation to the Save The Writer Fund for which all proceeds will go directly into my university's greedy little metaphoric hands. Words of encouragement are also welcome (although cold hard cash is preferred).

Is it graduation yet?

* Please note that, although not such a bad idea, the Save The Writer Fund is fictitious.

Nada. Nyet. Nothing. Rien.

2010-09-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

6th September 2010, 10.39pm

What have I been writing lately? Absolutely nothing. And I'm annoyed with myself.

Have I finished my query? No, it's not quite there yet still. Have I worked on the synopsis? Nope. Have I edited my novels? Huh, no. Have I prepped my short story for a competition I'd like to enter? Not at all. Have I perhaps started the outline of the 3rd installment of THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX? Have I heck. Updated my blog, you ask in last resort? Not even that.

What have I actually been up to? I have let myself become the ultimate couch bloody potato. The last couple of weeks have been filled with boredom and TV (although it was sprinkled with friends and dinners and the like, so it wasn't a complete loss). I'm not a big fan of TV and I don't usually watch much of it at all, so to sit in front of the box, learning how to plaster a wall or commenting on the hideousness of some bride's dress on a wedding show, is unlike me.

And now what? Well, the Fall semester at university is starting in about 9-10 hours. The good news is that I shall no longer be taking up residence on the couch in my oversized bear pyjamas (sexy as hell). The bad news, on the other hand, is that I'll have little time for anything but school work for the next 4 months.

NOW, I feel like writing! I can't force it. I go through periods where I can't stop my fingers from dancing all over the keyboard and laughing in the face of carpal tunnel syndrome. It's always when I'm swamped that I suddenly feel inspired. When I have nothing better to do, nothing comes out. Total blockage. And since I refuse to write stuff I'll only delete later, I'd rather not write it down at all.

Is it just me?

I'm Going To Be An Aunty!

2010-08-24T11:50:00.000-04:00

24th August 2010, 11.50am

My sister's pregnant and is expecting her brand spanking new offspring in March! How time flies, doesn't it? What happened to the spotty 16 year-old girl who had sworn off wanting kids after spending a day on work experience at a local daycare? Well, she's had 15 more birthdays since then...

This is the first baby in our immediate family, so everyone blubbered last weekend as she announced this. Unfortunately for the proud dad-to-be, it wasn't about him at all. In fact, the poor thing was almost forgotten about when kisses went flying around along with the congratulations. After all, he's already done his bit, right? (wait, don't hit me! It wasn't even my joke, I borrowed it from someone at the party).

Soooo, as the fantastic aunt I know I'll be, I made my sister the following promises:

1. I will always stuff her child full of sugar when she's not looking.

2. I'll always hand it (it's too early to tell the sex yet) back to her in as good a condition as when I borrowed it (but very much hyper from all the sugar).

3. I will teach my niece of nephew to call his/her maternal grand-father something embarrassing that will stick for the rest of grand-dad's life.

4. I will babysit only if she can promise that I won't have to deal with sick or poo. I will handle my own child's in time (if ever I'm a parent), but other people's babies' stringy black poo is where I draw the line.

5. I will read to her child, in the hope of recruiting it to my readership in the future (you gotta start them off young).

6. I will break every single rule she sets for her child whenever he/she spends time with me, so I can be "cool aunt Thalie".

7. I will resign as my sister's sibbling if she gets it to call me Tatie Thalie...

8. Mostly, I promise to love my niece or nephew as much as I love my sister herself - and I don't think she quite knows how much that is.

Now, I get to spend unashamed hours in Toys R Us, trying out every single toy in the store (to ascertain their suitability for my niece or nephew, of course). RESULT!!

Daytime Gems

2010-08-22T02:22:00.001-04:00

22nd August 2010, 1.43am

I deliberated long and hard before posting this entry. But I've decided that the wrath I will no doubt incure from my friend Cynthia (an avid fan) was worth the risk.

So, soap operas. They rule. You really have to give it to those actors, they are patient. Patient, you ask? Yes. They can wear the same clothes for two weeks at a time and have the same conversations again and again; at no point do any of them break out of character to echo the viewers' feelings: "can we get on with it already! She's been pregnant for two years!" A good example of this is Days of Our Lives, where they really take the "days" part seriously. No wonder the plots take months to get anywhere. And they are not at all outlandish.

Trudy has vowed to take revenge on Pablo, who has been training her dog to be a killing machine while she lay in bed, um, possessed by demons (don't laugh, it's a viable plot). What Trudy doesn't know is that Pablo is really her brother and the dog is her cousin. It has been used in secret missions by the army and now that it's mysteriously back after many years of absence (soaps do that a lot)... Ok, you get my drift. Lost interest already? It's alright. Even if you switch off for the next four months and don't bother watching, technically, you'll only have missed a week in soap time.

And don't they look fabulous in the morning? These people wake up with their hair and make-up done. I bet they don't have morning breath either. I want to move to soap land too and never have to wax my underarms again - someone will do it for me in my sleep!

Plus, they have kick-ass flashbacks of old footage while they stare into space after being asked an awkward question:

"Suzie, did you sleep with Roger? Did you sleep with my husband?" Ophelia enquires, something resembling concern and fear in her eyes (but it's hard to tell cause she's not a great actress, you know)

Taken aback, Suzie stutters and stares off into the distance (cue flashback of some sort with bad 80's hair and even worse acting for about twenty minutes - it's a slow production day, alright?).

"No," Suzie finally answers, rather unconvincingly.

"This isn't over," replies Ophelia as if a thirty minute silence wasn't enough of an answer. She stalks off, her designer boots clicking on the fake pavement, around the corner of the cardboard wall and back to her luxury condo although she works behind the counter at the local fake Starbucks (probably dubbed Starbooks for copyright purposes).

"Oh good," thinks Suzie to herself (but somehow aloud and yelling to the world), "she's gone. She can't find out I'm sleeping with Roger."

Do I watch soap operas? Um, let me stare blankly for a bit and I'll get back to you in twenty!

P.S. Today is officially my sister's birthday. So, happy birthday, Val (although I know you don't read this)!

Do These 3D Glasses Come With A Sick Bag?

2010-08-17T00:55:00.000-04:00

17th August 2010, 12.54am

I love going to the movies. There's something fun about special effects on the big screen and the overpriced snacks taste better for some reason. I even like the people who talk incessantly or play with their mobile phones - they give me something to moan about later. Just never take me to see a dubbed-over movie; I can't abide bad translations and I'd rather squint at subtitles (I never bring my glasses anywhere and God knows I can't see ten feet in front of me without them).

Every other movie is now coming out in 3D. Hollywood is like a dog with a bone. They are great. We all look smashing with our little plastic glasses on; some of us swaying from side to side, trying to touch what's not really in front of us. It's like we're right there in the middle of the action. This is where the fun ends for me.

When I was a child, I would have to be stuffed to the brink with Gravol or I would render my dinner after a ten minute car ride. This drove my parents nuts. Well, things didn't really get any better growing up. Needless to say that amusement parks held little appeal for me. I also remember a particularly rebel bag of Skittles that had refused to stay down during a representation of Armaggedon at the local cinema. I felt so ill, I left the theater and missed the end of the film (not much, as it turned out).

Now this. 3D films. A few months ago, my sister and I went to see Avatar. She looked silly in her oversized glasses, while I looked silly and green. I spent half the film with my eyes closed, chanting inwardly "don't be sick. Think of something else, but don't be sick."

Since cinemas seem to be edging out the good old 2D movies like yesterday's news, do you think theaters might start to stock Gravol-flavoured popcorn? I might otherwise have to kiss the big screen experience goodbye and who would I throw gummies at then?

I have ONE Problem

2010-08-15T00:15:00.004-04:00

15th August 2010, 12.14am

When should one use "one"? When does one know that one uses "one" excessively? Is one a tad pompous perhaps for profusely using "one" whenever one manages to get it in a sentence? Is one pushing depersonalisation one step too far? Is one asking one's self too many questions for one's own good?

Annoyed yet? I know I am.

Distractions-galore!

2010-08-12T18:08:00.001-04:00

12th August 2010, 6.05pm

I can't concentrate!

Why is it that when we are forced to do something, we can't bring ourselves to actually get down to it. Studying is one of those things for me. The minute it's clear I have to buckle down and try to memorize 200+ pages of notes, my mind wanders off. Ten minutes later, I realise that I'm no further than page 10 still. I'm fully aware that picking out a new colour for my bedroom (knowing all too well I shall never repaint anyway) is pointless at that precise moment in time. Stop it! I scold myself. Does it work? Hell, no. Now I'm thinking about my ms or my query letter, or my tuition fees, or how hot and uncomfortable it is, or how much I need to use the bathroom. And then I get up, finally having a decent pretext to put aside my notes.

It's not that I have a short attention span, it's that there are so many distractions around: my laptop, my story, books I'm reading (not those forced upon me by literature teachers of course, that would be way too productive of me), and the list goes on. If I'm hooked on what I'm doing though (writing, for instance), I can be glued to my computer for hours, days or months on end and stay focused.

Maybe it's a question of lack of motivation on my part. Or stress. Yes, that's it - I'm stressed out! I don't sleep at night, my stomach's in knots, I chew on my bottom lip until there's nothing left of it.

Whatever the cause of my temporary bout of ADD, here I am blogging and actively not memorizing marketing concepts. Right! No more avoiding the books, I'm going back to studying! Right after I, um, check out this website I've been meaning to have a look at...

AARRGGHH!!

2010-08-12T01:34:00.005-04:00

12th August, 2010, 1.15am

Query letters are the work of the devil and the bane of my existence right now! Not so long ago, I made a list of hooks to use for THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX and #16 was indeed ARRGGHH!! It was right up there with "Please stop the torture" and "Will you publish me if I cry?" Whilst it would certainly grab the attention of an agent, he or she would probably also think I'm crazy.

I know they say that a query is the reflection of the writer's skills and writing style, but I swear my novel isn't half as messy as my damned letter. Don't even get me started on the synopsis because I'll just weep.

There is some pretty good query advice out there, but if you're anything like me, you'll soon drown in the sea of links google will come up with. And how do you weed through them all to find the legit ones? I know I'm like a walking advertisement for this page, but the WM Community is a big help to me. If you're on the look-out for some more submissions advice, check out WriteOnCon. Also, agent Rachelle Gardner sounds out the dreaded things in her blog, which you can see here. Her blog in general gives some pretty good tips.

However, for all the help others can give, I'll say this: no one knows your story as well as you do at the end of the day and they can help you polish it, but they can't write it for you. To each his own torture!

If you've succeeded in securing an agent with your query, how did you do it? Did you have to sleep with anyone or sell your soul?

Internship Update

No news from the internship I applied for yet and I sent the letter in a 2-3 weeks ago at least. I'm upset. I actually really wanted to slave 40 hours + a week for no pay for them. Alas...

Nervous Wreck

2010-08-09T15:29:00.004-04:00

9th August, 2010, at 3.28pm

Believe me, Nervous Wreck is much more desirable than yesterday's Irritable Grump. I was a nightmare to be around; everything rubbed me the wrong way. Today, however, is final exam day. Since Economy, French and my brain cells struggle to co-exist, this should be fun.

This reminds me of a question raised by a fellow writer on a forum about trusting yourself and your writing. I write because I love it. I love words and how stringing them together in the right order tells a story, states an opinion, tells people about me and my style, even. We all use the same words, yet we manage to say so many different things. But have I the confidence to say I'm any good as a writer?

I'd love to be cocky enough to say yes with absolute conviction, but I can't. And I don't think it's wrong not to think I'm fabulous. Being humble makes us better writers over time. Being aware that we don't know everything, leaving ourselves room to learn about and hone our craft is what it's all about.

Maybe self-doubt is the professional default mode of translators. We are constantly told to doubt every word we write, to verify spelling, meaning, equivalence, etc in trusted sources and when we're certain we've got it figured out, to check again to make sure. Translation may well be about getting it right - after all, we are transmitting someone's else's message and the original author wouldn't like us to get it wrong, which is perfectly understandable - BUT it's enough to give any author the shakes when it comes to putting ideas to paper and fingers to laptop keys.

Can some balance can be struck somewhere between insecurity and confidence? Without a doubt!

** Update, 1.10am**

The exam was most definately a challenge. Self-doubt - 1, Confidence -0.

Do you doubt yourselves? I don't just mean as writers, I mean in any area - parenthood, love, etc.

6 Marketing Commandments For YA Fiction Writers

2010-08-07T14:45:00.008-04:00

August 7th, 2010

Most of the statistics below are from Canada, but the same principals apply. The information is far from exhaustive, but it's somewhere to start.

1. Thou Shalt Know Thy Industry

Worldwide, book sales alone are estimated at $135-150 billion (McIlroy). According to Statistics Canada, Quebec holds 30% of the Canadian market and Ontario 63%. The book publishing industry reported nationwide revenues of over $2.1 billion in 2008 (Statistics Canada). The Canadian market is “foreign-dominated”, says Thad McIlroy, “…These multinational companies tend to publish in large part the more established and better-selling authors… Canadian-owned publishing companies tend to publish in the less lucrative genres and predominantly publish first time Canadian authors" (qtd in McIlroy).

Canadian authors may get published in United-States or the UK (which are the most likely markets to be entered). The US market ratio worldwide is 1:3 (McIlroy), with around $35 billion in revenue (Poynter) and, in 2006 alone, British consumers took home around 338 million books amounting to 2.4 billion GPBPoynter). The world’s biggest publishing houses, according to Publishers Weekly (qtd in Hands) are: Thomson (Canada, 7.2 B$), Pearson (UK, 7B$), Reed Elsevier (UK/Netherlands, 6.1B$).

Geographic Regions of Importance: The Canadian book publishing core centres are Toronto, Ontario (English language publications), and Montreal, Quebec (French language), together holding the near entirety of the market (93%). They are followed by British Columbia (3.6%) and Alberta (1.7%) with the rest shared between the other provinces (Statistics Canada). We can include New York, in the United-States (where the 6 most important houses in the country are based), and London, in the U.K., where all the country’s major publishers are.

Generally speaking, writers’ earnings are the same across the board: an advance (3,000-6,000 depending on the format – hardcover or paperback), plus royalties between 5-10% of the price of a book (Pope 14). These figures may vary from publisher to publisher. The “time of year, the state of the economy, and other factors” might influence the numbers too. “Some smaller houses may not even pay royalties, just flat fees” (Pope 14). When it comes to promotion and distribution, a publisher will, on average, spend little in the way of marketing and mainly “towards review copies and the usual unproductive author tour” (Kenyon). A new novel will be competing against thousands more for a spot on the shelves but “has less than a 1% chance of being stocked in an average bookstore,” adds Steven Piersanti, president of Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

2. Thou Shalt Know Thy Market
(by this, I mean publishers and their requirements as well as the audience you're writing for)

Publishing houses operate on functional benefits. They want profit and to create a brand name out of an author and keep their target market coming back . They will want to know who you are, what your credentials are, what your book is about, etc., but mainly if you know your market and if you can sell to it:

YA readers sit within the 60 million-strong Generation Y children born between 1979 and 1994 (Neuborne & Kerwin). They are aged 10-20 year olds and “racially diverse”. “One in four lives in a single-parent household. Three in four have working mothers”. They already have financial responsibilities, with most senior high school students having a credit card, as well as a 5-year plan. They know computers. The Internet is their “medium of choice” for fashion trends, information and entertainment. They have enormous buying power, can make or break a brand and are fickle with trends (Neuborne & Kerwin). They “respond to humour, irony, and the (apparently) unvarnished truth,” but their “most trusted endorsers are each other”. They are planet and human condition conscious. They read YA fiction they can relate to emotionally; that helps them forge an identity and a sense of belonging; and offers a window to the world (Jensen). YA readers seek psycho-social benefits from the books they read. They want to be able to identify with the characters of a book and relate what they read to their own existence. It’s all about how a story makes them feel.

3. Thou Shalt Size Up Thy Competition

Your main competitors as far as working in the industry are other graduates in related fields (language majors, creative and professional writing degrees, etc.); people with a post-graduate certificate in publishing (a good edge); people with contacts and those having migrated from other industries (translators or writers looking to branch out).

As an author, competitors are other new writers (fiction or otherwise – a publisher might have decide on which book might be the most profitable in its field) and already published or established writers that are sure-fires. Your competitors can write (and I don't just mean subject-verb-complement); they have a way with words. But there really isn’t a “writer type”, according to editors of How I Got Published Ray White and Duane Lindsay, if for certain personality traits they share. Writers are creative and imaginative and can conjure up images in the mind; they are perfectionists and salespeople, marketers, networkers and managers all at once. They are stubborn, have a thick skin to handle rejection; and are lucky (White & Lindsay 316).

4. Thou Shalt Know Thy Odds of Being Published & Be Realistic (but not pessimistic!)

The industry is a tough one for new authors or potential employees in publishing. Liz Scheier, former Senior Editor at Ballantine/Random House Inc., says that job prospects are shrinking in our economic times. 95% of jobs are acquired through contacts (Publishing Perspectives). As for authors, “over 195,000 new novels are published by traditional publishers in the U.S. every year”. Of those, 70% sell fewer than 500 copies,” warns TK Kenyon, author of Rabid. The numbers may be daunting, but opportunities are there if authors can overcome the odds. In Canada, there are 50,000 new titles each year (Poynter).

As stated before: a new novel will be competing against thousands more for a spot on the shelves but “has less than a 1% chance of being stocked in an average bookstore” (Piersanti).

5. Thou Shalt Have What It t Takes Or Work At It!

Go back to Commandment #3. Are you creative and imaginative? Can you write in such a way that a reader can "see" your words in their minds' eye? Do you have the patience to polish and repolish your work until it's perfect? Can you sell sell and market yourself and are able to manage your work and your time as well as network your butt off? An author has to be one hell of a jack-of-all-trades! We have to be entrepreneurs, yes, but we also have to be stubborn and grow a thick skin to handle all those rejections that are sure to come our way. It's definitely a labour of love.

If working in publishing as something other than an author (such as an editor, for example) and you are unsure of what experience you'll need or how you measure up to the job's requirements, seek out advertisements. The job descriptions on the adds will tell you what publishers are looking for and work at it. You can gain valuable experience as an intern or just serving coffee (you never who might order up a latte - a potential contact perhaps? After all, it's all about who you know!)

6. Thou Shalt Be Prepared & Have a Plan!

Once you have conducted your situation's analysis: what are the external influences on your market (economic, perhaps), found out what's going on right now - what are the trends (demographic, technological, etc), sized up the market and the geographic areas of importance to you and your industry; once you have gotten to know yourself by taking self-assessment tests, done a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) and found out about your competition (take a breath) - It's time to set objectives and develop a strategy for yourself!

Set objectives that are realistic, time-bound and specific. Where do you want to be in 12 months? In 3-5 years from now? What do you want to be earning?

Now, how do you on getting there? Strategy time!

What work will you need to do on your product (yourself)?
Hone your skills as an author (write!), get feedback and advice (perhaps from a writer's community), become more versatile as a writer - try your hand at other genres or mediums. Edit your work, offer to edit others' - build on your skills.

Where will you work from? How will you get there? When?

What do you want to be earning? How will you get there? When by?

Most importantly, how will you go about promoting yourself?
Build a network (attend conferences (armed with business cards) and/or join a community to make contacts, enter competitions to see how your work not only fairs against the competitions, but get those credentials as some prizes may include publication in magazines or pitching to a household name publisher. Build a website or blog, have an online presence to showcase your writing and yourself. Write a kick-ass query letter with a fantastic hoo to go with your great synopsis and manuscript.

Keep on top of your plan, keep to your objectives and change your implementation steps along the way if necessary.

Phew! Most of all, have fun. Happy writing!

7. Thou Shalt Always State Thy Sources
(okay, this isn't really a commandment, but still; no plagiarism!)

Dugas, Eryka. “What Canadian Household Spend on Cultural Goods and Services”. Statistics Canada. 2009. Web. 3rd July 2010.
Economic Indicators, 2010. Statistics Canada. 2010. Web. 3rd July 2010.
Hands, Lori Cates. Publishing Careers. Web. 4th July 2010.
Institut de la statistique du Québec. Quebec Gouvernement. Web. 4th July 2010.
Jensen, Jennifer. “Young Adult Novel Guidelines”, Suite101.com, 2007. Web. 15th July 2010.
Kennedy, Brian. “Tough Times Present Unprecedented Opportunities”. School Library Journal. Web, 2009. 16th July 2010.
Kenyon, T.K. Internet Marketing for Novel Writers. Read, Write, Web. 2010. 4th July 2010.
Lindsay, Duane and Ray White (editors). How I Got Published. Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, 2007. Print.
McIlroy, Thad. “The Elevator Pitch for the Future of Book Publishers”, The Future of Book Publishing. 2009. Web. 3rd July 2010.
Neuborne, Ellen and Kathleen Kerwin. “Generation Y”. Bloomberg, Business Week, 1999. Web. 15th July 2010.
Piersanti, Steven. “Ten Awful Truths About Book Publishing”. Scribd, 2009. Web. 4th July 2010.
Pope, Alice (editor). Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market. 21st annual edition. Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, 2009. Print.
Poynter, Dan. Book Statistics.com. Web, 2008. 4th July 2010.
Publishing Perspectives. “Fired and Hired”. Web, 2010. 4th July 2010.
Publishers Global.com. Business to Business Directory. Web. 14th July 2010.
Rich, Motoko. “Steal This Book (For 9.99$)”. The New York Times. Web. 16th July 2010.
Writers’ Market. Web. Imprint of Writers’ Digest Books, 2010. 14th July 2010.
Young Adult Literature. Wikipedia. Web. 4th July 2010.

Hot Off The Press!

2010-08-06T16:33:00.001-04:00

Whee! I finally have this baby up and running! I have added some posts from the few entries I have posted on my Writer's Digest Community page (which you can view here). Be thankful I saved you from the bad poetry I posted on there but didn't dare transfer! Now, about followers... lol

I'll add some teasers about THE CURSE OF THE PHOENIX as I go along, so keep coming back!

Stiff Competition!

2010-08-03T15:30:00.001-04:00

I was just looking through some literary competitions. I think they are a great way to build up those credentials. And if having a few prizes or mentions under my belt can help land me an agent or publisher, I'm all for it.

So, I was looking through entry requirements and submission guidelines. They are mainly for short stories. None specify the genre, but looking at past winners gave me an idea of what they might be looking for (rarely ever sci-fi, horror, supernatural and the like).

Looking at those former winners also made me feel very much self-conscious. It doesn't mean that they are any better writers than me, even if I have never won (or even submitted) to a writing contest before - or maybe it does. But when the writers who submit their work have been published in this magazine or that one, won this prize or another before, or been writing professionally for thirty-odd years... Gulp! Feeling out of place any?

They've had to start somewhere too, I know. It would also make a win or a mention all the more significant for it.

I guess I constantly doubt my work. We are all our worst critic, aren't we? Writing is like singing, we bare our souls and leave a little bit of ourselves on the paper with every sentence. It's daunting to think that someone gets to judge you like that. I guess it's all part of the fun!

Yikes!

Flat Writing Battery? Talk To My Mom!

2010-07-29T22:00:00.002-04:00

My mom's great. She's my absolute biggest fan.

There's only one thing she doesn't like about my writing: it's in English. She wishes I'd translate The Curse of the Phoenix to French already, so she could read it herself - I had to read her the entire first novel out loud. I even added some extra tid-bits for her in there, exclusives about what was coming in the next books and the story as a whole. She may well be one of the only people ever to read my work, so I better make it good!

Today, I was all excited about some great comments I received about my novel and we chatted about it, my mom and I. She asked me about the story again and how it ends. Now, asking me about my novel is dangerous ground. I really get into it and I'm passionate about it. Basically, I can't shut up.

While I was talking, I could see the tears welling in her eyes and by the time I was finished, she was downright crying. "It's such a great story!" she said. Coming from a mother, it's nothing to be impressed about (every mother thinks her child is the most beautiful, talented and perfect being on this planet), but she has a way of motivating me.

My mom might think I'm good, but growing up, she was more the 'constructive comment' kind of woman. For her to get so emotional like that just hearing me talk about The Curse of the Phoenix is really something. She really believes in me, bless her heart. In her mind, there is no way a publisher won't want to publish me (and I have to burst her bubble every time).

I'm full of positivity, now. Back to that query letter!!...

Our Lady Bonbons

2010-07-21T01:11:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about pen names today.

I realise my blogs are for the most part - okay, all - rants and I apologize for that. I'm not really
having a hissy fit today, just a small grumble to give you some back story.
This is how it all came about:

So, pen names. I'd like a really good one. Or at least a decent middle name to supplement my real one. I don't know. I guess I just find my name a bit blah.

It's common first of all. Every other woman from my neck of the woods is called Nathalie, so clear lack of originality there. Besides French speakers, people rarely know how to pronounce it. God only knows how many times I corrected people while I lived in England. "Just pretend there is no 'h'". Don't get me started on my last name. I've been called anything from Shit to Shields and I'm forever spelling it. It's aggrevating.

So, for the fun of it, I googled pen names and a generator came up. I was a little disapointed that the name this website dubbed me sounded more like that of a sweet shop than a writer's. Maybe even a tad porn star-ish. Although I have to admit it's catchy as hell, I'm not sure I could carry Our Lady Bonbons. It's too much. Too flamboyant for me. It would take lots of clashing colors, boas and a dreadful accent to pull it off. Plus, Lady Gaga might sue and Our Lady Peace might think I'm poking fun.

It was a good name though it was short-lived. But there goes Our Lady Bonbons, joining the rest of the junk already crowding Room 101.

R.I.P. Our Lady Bonbons.

Cross-Breeding Mutants & YTM - A new Genre!

2010-07-18T15:00:00.002-04:00

We writers are creatures of creativity. We write for the love of words and the images they conjure in the mind. We strive to be the best we can be and need to share our art with the world.
When we come up with a great idea - and we know it, we can feel the tingle; we're on to something - we get shot down. Why? "You don't fit in the box," they say. What's in a genre? I ask you! YA, NA, CF, SF, F... Alouette!
I'm not saying that categories aren't completely useless. No one would know what to make of a Genre Mutant, but what's wrong with a bit of cross-breeding? Why can't my manuscript be YA with a little NA mixed in for good measure. Are nineteen year-olds so bloody different to eighteen year-olds? I'm tempted to classify my novel as YTM (You Tell Me!) and let the agents weed through what fits in their neat little boxes and what doesn't. Mutiny!
Of course, I have no say in the matter. I am but a lowly unpublished insignificant blip on agents' and publishers' radars (not even that). What do I know? Who am I to pipe up? I'm perfectly aware that I'll do as I'm told, do what it takes to get published.
But in the meantime, this is my blog and I'll rant if I want to!

** And with all these abbreviations, I feel as though I'm speaking Klingon!... I give you the Writers' Klingon -- a new cross-breed! Catchy if you ask me.

Evil, Thy Name Is Insomnia!

2010-07-18T06:00:00.002-04:00

It's either ridiculously early or stupidly late - I'm not sure which. Anyhow, it's 6.00am and I should be cozy in my bed. But, no. You would think going to bed at 4.00am might have tired me enough to sleep. But, no.

It seems I can't switch off. It is partly my fault, I know. When I start writing pretty much non-stop for a while, my brain doesn't want to give up; not for food, not for sleep - but I draw the line at toilet breaks.

This sleep deprivation thing is taking its toll. The little hamster in my head, running as if it was on steroïds, needs a breather. Sleep, where art thou? (When I start breaking out the Shakespeare, something has to be done). I couldn't be more wide awake, it's irritating!

Counting sheep doesn't do it for me; I just can't sheep, you see? (Ok, not funny) Counting Crows aren't really my cup of tea and counting calories - well, that's as pointless and it is frustrating. Alas!

"Insomnia is the triumph of mind over mattress!" I read somewhere. Insomnia humor - hmm, not so much.

Well, this is it, folks. This is me getting grumpy. This could have gone two ways: incessant giggles over absolutely nothing or grumpiness. I feel the latter coming on, so I think it's time for another attempt for a take off to the land of nod. Let's hope the mattress wins this round...

Honey, You're Killing The Magic

2010-07-16T12:29:00.003-04:00

Relevant or not, I have to share:

Ah, new love! The "make you blush like a school girl, can't string two words together, butterflies churning in your stomach, can't get enough of each other" beginnings of a new relationship. So sweet. Our other halves are the best thing since sliced bread. But sooner or later (often sooner than one might expect), the spell will be broken and the fairy won't be as perfect. Mark my words.

One of us will break wind. Then before we know it, there'll be loud belching and button popping after dinner, the closed bathroom door will suddenly becomes an open invitation for the other to barge in and use the toilet while we're in the tub and butts will unceremoniously get scratched in the middle of what we thought was a romantic moment. I'm not naming names or pointing the finger, but I think the male species is mostly to blame for the death of "The Magic".

"I'm comfortable with you," he says, picking his nose as if he's actually trying to reach his brain. In some cases, a little too comfortable a little too quickly. Where do we draw the line between "comfortable", "old slipper" and "one of the guys"? It's not that we don't want these furry little creatures to ever dare fart in our presence, it's just that, perhaps, they could spare us the giggles and the venting of the bed covers as they do so. It's a small request, really.

The scope of said Magic extends to more than table or bedside manners. We want to be swept off our feet, dined and wined maybe. Let's make one thing clear, fast food joints do not qualify as gourmet food and are not appropriate venues to celebrate our anniversary. As for anniversaries themselves, no matter what members of the male species say, each is important (not only multiples of five) and should be celebrated in some way, shape or form. Just not at McDonald's.
"You're way too harsh!" some will say. Nah. I never said that men weren't loveable. My boyfriend (who has never taken me to McDonald's might I add) has been farting freely since our second date (if you're reading this - sorry, sweetheart! If you aren't - you should!) either pretending nothing happened or going "oops"; he burps, but still apologizes (most times) and I don't love him any less for it. He is the best thing since sliced bread to me and he knows it!

We fight, we yell, we throw plates and swear at the top of our lungs (but only for half a second) that the
other is the bane of our existence. Then, clothes fly, hands fumble, lips meet and there
it is. The Magic's back.

I'm Sorry, Was That English Or Klingon?

2010-07-15T12:00:00.003-04:00

Is it just me or do 'kids' (I include my generation in this category and therefore use the term loosely) don't know how to write anymore? Sure, there is a small proportion of them (most of which probably come to this community to feel comfortable amongst those who have actually heard of a dictionnary) who do, but it's a little scary thinking about the rest.
If you've ever visited Facebook, you'll know what I'm talking about. Abbreviations, accronyms or just plain bad grammar? It's all there. And OMG, I just fill lik I ave 2 say smeting bout this!

I know the methods of teaching have changed dramatically in schools in the last 15 years and schoolboards are doing everything they can to dumb the curriculum down to encourage students to stay in school, but give me a break! My brother - intelligent boy that he is, bless him - can't write to save his life. My sister and I have both chosen careers in writing and we can't help but cringe whenever he proudly announces that he's never read a book in his life - not even mine, which I take personally.

At the rate we're going, the next generation of authors will be publishing in IM. Do they deliberately avoid spelling out words out of sheer laziness or is it just that they've forgotten that words like "you" are made up of more than one letter?

Give me English. Give me French. But for the love of God, spare me the Klingon!

If It Quacks Like A Duck And Walks Like A Duck...

2010-07-15T00:31:00.001-04:00

Someone once said that that if, when you get up in the morning, you can't think of anything besides writing, and that, through the day, you dream about writing right up until sleep takes you at night - then, you are a writer... Wait, I think it was actually in the movie Sister Act. And it was actually about singing, but that's beside the point! The point is that it's true. I write. I'm a writer. Unpublished, unknown and pennyless perhaps, but a writer nonetheless.

I write, yes, but am I any good at it? Have I a way with words or is it just that I can string up words in the right order to make up a sentence? See, this is a toughy. On good days, I may well think I've got something going on (I'm admittedly a tad biased as the author), but on bad days, I'm my worst critic. I scold myself for putting my own heart through the wringer with each blank page, each passing day and each rejection. Today is a mixture of both as I'm finally throwing myself into the deep end head first, anxious and hopeful all at once. Sink or swim. My work won't take itself to the publisher and drag itself onto the shelves for all to read, no matter how long I stare at that manuscript!

Now comes the trickier part: getting published. Perhaps becoming famous in the process (dream big or go home, right?). And hopefully paying the bills with my wit and words. Tall order? Maybe so. But I'm a duck. And it's time to swim or get off the pond.